3 fun ways to save money

As a college student, I'm of course going through the age old struggle of being flat broke. I'm working two jobs and it seems I NEVER have any money. My parents aren't helping me with my tuition so naturally, I'll be coming out of school with an ass load of student loans to pay off. Damn, looks like I'm going to actually go out and try to contribute to society. But until then, I'm just trying to make it by spending as little money as possible. And, since I'm so generous and awesome, I'll share with you all a few helpful hints on how to wheel and deal.

1. Mooch. Quite possibly, mooching off others is the most effective way to save money in college. Make it seem as though you have nothing to contribute. You and your friends are going someplace, DO NOT DRIVE YOUR CAR. Parking far away from your present location is a good excuse to use someone else's car. And don't offer gas money, people will figure out that you've got cash on hand. And if the driver asks you for money, just say you don't have any on you and he'll get it later. Odds are, he'll forget.

2. Working the system. Working the system can get comlicated at times, but it can save you more money than you really know. Take for example, you work at a restaurant. Offer your free meals to employees of another establishment, perhaps a movie theater, in exchange for their employee benefits. Everyone knows that going through the proper channels only attracts attention to actions some bosses might not approve of, so keep everything on the D.L. It's a risk trying to deal with a manager, but if you can find one that's cool, it is more profitable than the employee/employee deals. You'll find that once these transactions have been going on for a while, the market will evolve so that you can get free meals or free movies or anything else free without all the shady back alley deals. You can simply go into the establishment get what you need and leave, assuming the employees who hook you up can do the same.

3. Stealing. Stealing is a great way to save money, and can be fun and exciting as well as rewarding. Although some squares seem to think blatantly stealing is somehow wrong, rationalizing your actions is part of the fun. Instead of saying, "I'm taking the stores products," just think, "I work long hours for the fat cats at the top, making them a lot more money than they give me. I'm just leveling the playing field." And besides, for all the positive work you put in for the job, even the owners would say that taking stuff every now and then is a fair trade. Just don't be an idiot about it and get greedy. After all, this is to help save money, not make money.

The point is, once you're out of college with a real job, you are the system. So taking advantage of it is ripping yourself off. We all know you can't keep up the scams forever, so take this opportunity to get ahead. And really, you're learning to think outside the box and how to use loopholes to your advantage. That's the American way.