My Erotic Blog Post

Marissa, your comments before class, although somewhat crass, have inspired this post. This is MY EROTIC BLOG POST.

Okay, this is something that has been bothering me ALL SEMESTER. I sit here in the back facing this painting by Georgia O'Keefe called "Grey line with black, blue, and yellow" and I just have to ask: Does anyone else think this painting looks like a gaping vagina??? It creeps me out! Every time I come to class I have this giant snooch staring me down. How am I supposed to blog with something like that going on???

"STEEEEEEVVVVEEEE!!! Acknowledge my presence, or fear my wrath!!!!!"

Good god, this painting is going to destroy my grade. Damn you, Georgia. I kept thinking that O'Keefe's work would kill my grade until I looked over and saw her other painting in class. It's just some flowers. Is it possible my perverted mind just drew this sexual comparison out of nothing? Nope. I looked up other paintings by this pornographer, oops, I mean artist, and found that other paintings of hers bear resemblance to the uhhh...lady-bits.

Try to guess which one wasn't painted by Georgia O'Keefe. Yeah, so pretty much all her paintings have some kind of female genitalia undertone. Or as I like to call it, SMUT.

And what in the hell is this thing?

I'm not EVEN going there.

Or how about the masterpiece "Ice Cave" or Georgia's first working title, "My Crotch on a Very Cold Day"

Brrrrrrr.

These next two winners I thought were the same painting at first. Then I noticed the subtle difference. But why make two paintings so similar? Then, like the brilliant detective I am, I figured out what must be going on here.

Maybe I'm just not "artsy."

I'm going to stop there, but trust me people, they only get worse. I'm sure there's probably some lame artistic explanation like, "She was portraying the miracle of life by exposing the similarities between the growth of a flower and the growth of human life in the womb." Here's my interpretation: "She was showing eveyone that flowers look like noonies." Well congrats, Georgia. You've been able to make money off your sick pleasures, but this is one guy who ain't buying your excuse. One last thought:

How about a little discretion next time?