My Crusade

Hwæt! Birds fear me. My entire life, I've been engaged in a constant battle with birds of all kinds. Seagulls, Crows, Woodpeckers, I've taken them all on and emerged victorious each and every time. So far, the war has been held at a stalemate. After every feathered fiend I destroy comes a new, greater threat. I had begun to think that I was only delaying the inevitable; that there could be no end, no chance for peace. That is, until last September when the tides turned in my favor. One fateful Saturday night, I was attacked by a force the likes of which had never been seen. And because I believed in myself, shall never be seen again. At some point in the night, I had found a large wooden staff in the ground and took it with me. Maybe it was the staff that found me but nevertheless, destiny brought us together. Although my friends thought nothing of it, I knew in my heart that this night would be one to remember. We arrived back to our parking garage sometime around 3 in the morning. Here, in this concrete temple, a legendary battle ensued. As we walked unsuspectingly to the stairs, a beast suddenly attacked. The beast was none other than my arch nemesis, the pigeon. This creature was massive, I tell you. Its feathers ruffled, its talons sharp, and its beak extending from its twisted head, pointing at me, silently saying, "You're going to die tonight." Taken with fear, I looked around for some saving grace. There, still in my clutches, was the staff I had found earlier. But it wasn't enough. A simple wooden rod could never take down such a monster. And then I realized, the power that would destroy this bird is not the staff in my hands, but the hands themselves. I knew if I were to triumph, it would be through my own strength, my own intellect, my own courage. Our eyes met. My friends, the bird, and myself all knew that I had finally met my match. Then, it happened. My foe took flight and surged right at me. In a perfect convergence of body and mind, I harnessed my skills of war and thrust my staff into the breast of the beast! It fell to the ground, lifeless. I had defeated the monster in one fell swoop. My friends returned to my side and we walked back to my room. There was a common realization among us that the dead bird really hadn't been my match. It was just another of my countless fallen enemies. No one spoke, as we were still in a bit of shock at what we had just witnessed. I continue my crusade against the villains of the sky, and the staff rests in my room to this day.

It rests, but for how long?