It's my religion, not my lifestyle

When was the last time you prayed? Not like reciting an old prayer, but spoke to God in your own words. I'm not about to go Brother Jeb on you, so hear me out. Last week, I went to church. It had been a year and half since I had been. Having been through Catholic schools all my life, and NEVER went a week without going to church since I was born, religion was always a part of my life. When I came up to Mizzou and wasn't obligated to go to church with my family, I simply stopped going. There was nothing wrong with my life that I was rebelling against God, I just got lazy and didn't care enough to go. But recently, something has been nagging at me. In the back of my mind, I felt like I was missing something. So last Sunday, I staggered out of bed at 6:30 in the morning, with only 2 hours of sleep, hung over as hell, and made the walk to church. Let me tell you, it was a bit surreal. It was cold, with a sharp chilly wind. It was overcast and just barely snowing. The whole world seemed gray. There was hardly any cars out and no people were walking the sidewalks. I can't describe the feeling, but it felt wierd. Then I sat through church. I never participate when I go; I don't sing or chant the prayers, but it's enough just to show up. After it was over, I went home and went back to bed. I learned something though. I can not deny the virtues that were given to me. I'm not a religious person really. The laws of the church don't govern my life. I drink, I smoke, and (Brother Jeb, if you're reading this, skip the next couple of words) I've even fornicated!!! *cue dramatic DUM-DUM-DUMMMM!!!!! But dammit, I was born a Catholic and I'll die a Catholic. It's true what they say, nobody ever gets away from the Catholic church. If you were raised on it, you're stuck. Even though I think the church has so many ridiculous rules, the bottom line for me is, "Just try to be a good boy, Steve. That's all you can do." And for that, I returned to my church.

Now, with that said, here's my most HATED aspect of church: Jesus-kids. You guys know those kids who think it's super cool to think of Jesus in every aspect of life? OH MAN, those people piss me off. It's like they go to mass to scout out young people who aren't already in their clique, and try to recruit them. Hey Saint Loser, LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Just because I go to church doesn't mean I want to be your apostle. Youth groups are lame, Christian Rock SUCKS, and the Bible is not an authority on modern issues! I don't know why these kids decided to wage a crusade of Christ against me, but I just want to go to church. Don't preach to me. I don't want your beliefs, I have my own. Not only that, but they put such a negative face on religion in general, and turn those off who might someday join a church. Example: Brother Jeb is the product of the absolute worst that religion can do to a person. No one takes him seriously except other crazies just like him, so his sermons are all in total vain, and even though I laugh at him, when you think about it, it's just kind of sad really. Did his parents inflict this upon him, or has he done it to himself? Either way, that guy's spiralled so far down into it, and he's SO close-minded, he really is beyond help. But you know, I don't have that big a problem with it. To each his own. At that, I'd like to leave you with a quote. As I began this post with a question on prayer, I'd like to refer back to that. An old friend, the most foul-mouthed, drunk, son of a bitch and devoted Catholic you'll ever find, once said this to me on prayer:

"It's important to pray, boy. In order to converse with an equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God."